I’ve always been taught that people are just that….people. Therefore, it was unfair to put unrealistic
and realistic expectations on them. Somehow, I still missed the memo. As a consequence, I’ve had my share of disappointments in people that could have been prevented.
A few months ago, circumstances with an individual led me to a church. To be brief, I learned months later that the Pastor withheld information about this individual. Information that was significant and would have completely altered the context of the relationship very early on….had I been told. However, the Pastor didn’t tell me…instead, he and whomever else was aware, were an audience to my love and my heartbreak within the safe place I had called “church”.
Church had been my place of peace, guidance, love and family. Growing up, my Pastor has always been like an Uncle and my church family replaced my extended family. So, it was mind blowing to digest the situation and how the safeguards in place did not come through for me. My faith in God wavered and my faith in us…as Christians… wavered even more. I have not attended a church service since.
I have begun repairing my relationship with God and recognizing that He is my focus/ my rock. I am slowly accepting that I must find a church home and develop some level of trust in the leaders within it. This year I must take accountability for my own lack of discernment in the situation. Lastly, I must recognize that God is my safe place and I take Him everywhere.