Happy New Year!
As per my usual, a year later, I find myself here on my blog. It is still “my baby” and a space that seems meant for only my most meaningful thoughts. If you’ve followed me for the past years, you know how the content of my blog has shifted. It initially held my thoughts as I completed my foster care licensing, then my time as a single foster mom, my thoughts while transitioning her to her forever home, the heartbreak of her leaving and then some moments of my time in China.
While in China, I did a “30 Days to 30” blog series which was extremely reflective for me. I attempted to do one last year but…it didn’t happen.
SO…here I am, motivated and excited to achieve the same insight and reflection in my “32 Days to 32- A Reflection Series”. Fair warning….some topics may be heavy on the heart. However, I am truly being transparent and unfiltered regarding my 32 thoughts.
Since 2015 I have completed end of year reflection questions and then selected a focus word for the year. The first year I chose “refreshing”. In 2016, I chose “advancement” regarding my career and education. We’ve all heard the global groans about 2016. I wish I could say that my year went smoothly…but nope. I found myself at a low that sent my younger sister packing her things to move in for a few months. She will be leaving in 2 weeks which will leave me mostly alone in this city. I have mostly kept my head above water and I need it to stay that way. SO…my word for 2017 is SELF-CARE.
For me, self-care means taking the time to check-in with myself… “How am I feeling? Do I need to pause? What can I do to make myself feel/not feel.. x/y/z? ” I want to be so much more insightful of my own well-being. I will jump hurdles and walls for anyone else but I am unforgiving when it comes to allowing myself that same grace, effort and love. I don’t want to lose the compassion I have to help others. I want to include myself in that compassion. I want to embrace that perfection, independence and “having it together” are moments not a lifestyle. It was in me falling so low that I discovered some peace in my mess…that it is actually OK to not be okay. I had to mentally reject some childhood learning and cultural understandings that I had to maintain 100% at all times.
My statement of the year is to find peace and happiness and that what is meant for me..will be. It is for my mental, physical and emotional well-being to trust that I will not have to drag, chase, persuade or manipulate what or who is meant for me. …And that that in itself may be the most precious lesson in self-care.