YES. I got to see my love yesterday!! It was our 2nd visit since 02/21/14. She had the biggest smile when our eyes met….
my big girl
We did our cheek snuggles….had a karaoke session using my water bottle as the mic…we collected all the change I brought her for her Hello Kitty bank…we hugged…we ate lunch…we tickled and shared kisses…we played with toys…we talked…she laid in my arms and I rocked her like old times.
Lord knows I love her. I would not say I feel incomplete per se…but seeing her is like a “refresh” button in my life. She reminds me of how love is suppose to feel.
On our visit, she called me “mom” and I told her, “Noo..I’m not mom”. She looked at me like I had hit my head and said, “Ms. Cafrine, you ARE a mom!” It warmed that sad little corner in my heart. How quickly, I had laid that role to rest…yet when she saw me…there was no difference. There was no magic “M” on my forehead that had disappeared. I was still a “mom”.
She taught me a lesson in that moment. There is so much more to being/becoming a “mom” than what first comes to mind. I hope this post encourages someone struggling with the role of “mom”.
Empty beds are not a reflection of a full heart.