Adoptive Placement Transition

March Rain


(INSERT LARGE SMILE HERE). You would have thought the love of my entire life had entered that restaurant yesterday! I really wanted to be “self contained” and give my hugs to the D family and then start catching up with my Stinky. WELP… maybe better luck next time. I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my body when she was in reach. I can’t even type this without a fountain of tears. ………………………………………….

It was like…Christmas morning.

I cried for about the first 5-10 minutes. She would look at me and hug me and then repeat. She said, “Ms. Catherine, you’re here.” I can’t articulate the love and hurt I felt in those words. I will try to revisit it when I’m not a flood of emotions. Every time she hugged me and gave me a kiss was LOVE. Everything motherly in me was aching and celebrating simultaneously.

Being a mother has allowed me to experience a new type of love. I knew that I loved her…but not seeing her for 2 weeks put all types of stamps on that. I felt “normal” for a moment but I don’t regret my decision. It is so transparent to me that my role was to facilitate a blessing. There is no room for guilt in being obedient to the Father. He has His angels in place to comfort me and His love is unmatchable. He has designed the plan for our lives.

I regret nothing.


7 thoughts on “March Rain

  1. Good stuff, Puddin. Co-signing on Mimi’s comment–you did that! I’m proud of you because it can be hard when you’re hurting not to have doubts, but you played your specific role in the blessing. Good for you!

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