I’m looking at all of our and her pictures and there are just…..A LOT! As I said in my last post, I really want it to be blazingly evident that her time in foster care was not one of all tears.
I am seriously considering printing out all her pictures outside of the ones in her life book. We have lots of random pics of her and I or her with my family that I want her to have access to if she has doubts later on. If she has questions, I want her adoptive family to be able to draw from more than a few meetings we shared. So, after I’ve had that thought, then I wonder if I’m trying to prove something to myself???
Is this just the mommy in me…still wanting to protect and shield her….. Is this just my form of coping with the fact that I am letting her go and the effects it may have on her? My brain starts overwhelming me with thoughts that my heart can’t keep up with and I’m left with an unmistakable emptiness. God makes me remember that she is in His hands….always was… He simply allowed me to mother her for this short time. He will let her know a love far greater than mine. He will let her know that her leaving was not due to the absence of love.