Stinky fairy and I were on our way upstairs last night for bed. I was singing a song I love called “Oh how He loves us”. I all of a sudden hear her crying and feel her resisting. I turned towards her completely confused because she had been fine prior. When I asked her why she was crying, her response was, ” It’s dark in there!” I explained to her that I was right there holding her hand and that she was safe. I also kept singing as we went up all 15 stairs. As soon as I began to think, “What’s all that for??? I’m right here with you!!” It was like God said…. oh nooooooo you don’t, Catherine!
He showed me myself!
Oh how easy and comfortable it is to walk hand in hand with God when you believe you can see and know where you’re headed. You don’t have to dig deep into your faith, worship is effortless, you follow and go willingly and maybe even quickly because it all lines up with “your” vision. You still feel a sense of control and let’s say…independence. God walking hand in hand with you is a huge plus in our subconscious mind.
Flip side is…..I only know a small part or maybe even NO part at the moment. I’m being still and “waiting” on God. The path isn’t shown completely to me. He situates circumstances to make us move and at our first emotion of (insert whatever), we are kicking, resisting and crying.. “I can’t see!!!!!” In order to continue my walk, I can’t last on my superficial….simply grazed over faith. I have to dig deep into that thing! Worship may not be so easy. You may have to force yourself, your flesh to do right. I promise you, it will not all by itself! I have to know that although I can’t see it all, He can! I must depend on Him to take me safely and all the way. And you know what else? He is so great that He is with you on that stair, while being at the end of the stairs and beyond all at the same time!
God wanted me to cleave on the same words of comfort I gave to her…
Catherine, I’m right here. You are safe.
Thank You, Lord.