Foster Care

Changes…..

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This is a picture of me dressed as a bride for Halloween. It’s amazing how we construct this timeline of events in our mind based off society, parents and our own desires. I have wanted to be a bride and then a mama for many many years. In my adult life, I am guilty of being critical and ungrateful towards my successes because I wasn’t a wife or mom. When I think about this, it seems so silly to had been wrapped up in this harmful way. When I became a foster mama (see first few blog posts), I was often questioned if it originated from my desire to be a mom and inability to just wait. I can tell you, being a single mom has not been easy, or always smooth. There are great days and difficult ones. There are doubts that run across my mind and days my heart ache is heavy. The case is slowly winding down and her family is no longer an option. (I learned today) It leaves me and mom who has been struggling and not meeting the minimal requirements these last 6+ months. I have a range of emotions and thoughts. Can we do this alone..forever? She’s clearly white and I’m black..how would her life be? How can I best protect her? Would I even be a good mom..for forever? The only certainty I have is that I love her and she’s happy. Yet, it doesn’t calm my thoughts. We weren’t on my timeline but I guess the best surprises never are… I just keep looking at her little face.

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7 thoughts on “Changes…..

  1. You CAN do this if you WANT to do this. Being a single mom is not easy. Being a single mom of a child of a different race is even more not easy, but not nearly as difficult as I expected. My first child adopted out of foster care is clearly black. I am clearly white. She was only supposed to be with me four months when she was one. She is entering high school. Neither of us would want it any other way.

  2. My husband is white, I’m black, our first foster was a white girl, and our current foster son is also white. Even though the girl went back to her parents after a year, I was more than willing to be her black mama. When I was a child, I dreamed of marrying a black man and having beautiful black kids. God definitely had other plans. HE definitely knows what is best for us and what we can handle. Don’t let race, the ignorance of others and your marital status keep you from your blessing.

    1. Yes! His plan is always best. Race is one piece of my many regarding this decision. I am living this life of being single with no children, so this would be an entire lifestyle change. It definitely is a crucial decision. I continue to pray that He will make it clear what is best for us. It is a sacrifice not many are willing to make. .. single or married! Thank you for your comment!

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